Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
