It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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