I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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