For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
