so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
