I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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