You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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