the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
