Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
