Kiss
Puke
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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