i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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