It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
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