Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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