Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
