if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize