look no pants
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
