Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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