Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
