So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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