I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
