Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I party with great urgency now.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
