I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
