My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
