we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Randomize
