I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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