She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
