I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
