an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
