Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
