with your own penis?
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize