New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
