i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
