i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
