Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
it glows. i had to have it.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
