Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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