I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
