I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
