3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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