at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Randomize
