then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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