guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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