There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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