I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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