hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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