Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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