There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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