Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
