Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
