you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
