So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
there was a trapeze. enough said
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
