If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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