He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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