Yo dont text me then not text me
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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