Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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